After my divorce, I noticed that I kept saying NO to anything that might make me feel good.
I felt guilty about my divorce in terms of my 18 yr. old son and the loss of our house of 20 years.
I felt scared to spend any money on anything other than the essentials. I said NO to exercise, NO to dating and NO to holiday parties.
The only party that I was willing to attend was my own “pity party.”
NO was my response to even a simple manicure…….NO, NO, NO.
I realized that I was saying NO more than my son, when he was going through the terrible two’s some 16 years ago. As time passed I began to realize that the first thing I needed to do, to finally move forward, was to start with my post divorce space. Giving myself permission to create a new home that reflected my personal taste and personality, gave me the foundation to begin to heal. Surrounding myself with color that made me smile, finally unpacking the boxes from my old home from 20 years ago and de-cluttering, breathed new life into me. I was hopeful again. There, just beyond the light at the end of the tunnel, was my MOJO.
Eight years after her divorce, my client called me to simply give her new colors for her dated kitchen and very worn master bedroom. Although changing the colors in the space would have greatly improve the decor, it was not nearly enough to make the house homey and livable for she & her college age daughter who was commuting to school. This loving mom put all of her money and energy into sending her daughter to college. She continued to say NO to updating her kitchen even though she & her daughter loved cooking. She said NO to creating a relaxing master bedroom so that she had a sanctuary to go to at the end of the day. She had NO place to unwind and relax. Being a single parent is extremely stressful. It was time for her to allow herself to have an updated kitchen and a relaxing master bedroom.
I suggested taking down a wall that separated the living room from the kitchen. This created an open living plan and made it more comfortable for conversation and family gatherings. In the kitchen, I repainted the existing wooden cabinets, new hardware, replaced the counters with granite and substituted vinyl flooring with beautiful wooden flooring that connected the entire first floor together.
I also swapped out all of the old appliances with stainless steel. This made it enjoyable for her to start cooking family meals again. I quickly addressed the master bedroom by simply de- cluttering and purchasing a beautiful new bedspread to create a fresh design direction. New draperies and a her favorite color embraced all of the walls in her bedroom. Fine soft sheets and scented candles added to Patty’s new sanctuary. She felt better about her space and herself. She joined the gym and began going on job interviews again. As always the end result is about self-discovery not just a beautiful space.
Feel good. Heal good. Getting your MOJO back through color & design!