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Downsizing after Divorce

Nothing about a divorce is easy. Even if it is amicable and civilized, there are practical and emotional upheavals that are unavoidable and may leave you feeling lost. Downsizing after a divorce may be just as emotionally disruptive as it is logistically challenging....

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COLOR BLIND – how does color impact us?

colorblindpostCreating a space that nourishes, supports and stimulates us, especially after the difficult transition of divorce, is the first step to going from just a house to a home. Our immediate mood, comfort level, and physical energy are ruled by either the right or wrong color choices.

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FLY ME TO THE MOON CAUSE I ALREADY HAVE Q-TIPS IN MY BATHROOM

flymoonStaring up at the ceiling from my fetal position on my therapist’s blue pleather couch I notice a fly. A fly. Although only a 14-36 hour life span, these germ ridden, mindless, wing clad angels are totally care free from all worries, (other than the occasional fatal swat or two)…I decide, at that moment, that I want to be a fly.

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GO AHEAD PICK YOUR NO’S

noseAfter my divorce, I noticed that I kept saying NO to anything that might make me feel good. I felt guilty about my divorce in terms of my 18 yr. old son and the loss of our house of 20 years. I felt scared to spend any money on anything other than the essentials. I said NO to exercise, NO to dating and NO to holiday parties. The only party that I was willing to attend was my own “pity party.”

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B.A.T.S. IN THE BELFRY – dateable men who live in un-dateable spaces design tip

BATSOne constant decor issue that continues to link all divorced men together after moving into their new space, is not the wagon wheel coffee table from “When Harry met Sally”, the worn, navy blue, corduroy recliner with the pizza sauce stain on the seat or the 4″ soap scum deposit that happily resides on the sliding glass shower doors, no, no, no, it’s none of that…..ok, maybe it is some of that! 

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PRIDE AND GROOM – Nutella® & old men in high waisted pants

nutellaAfter my divorce, I found myself to be the recipient of many party invites. Wow, why have I suddenly become so popular? Let me answer for you. The reason for my sudden leap to popularity was for the simple reason that I began RSVPing to my own invites.

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PLUCK YOU – the untimely arrival of chin hair

tweezersAlthough I cannot scientifically prove this, I am certain that the overnight growth of unusually long, varied in texture & color, chin hair, is the result of extreme stress caused by my ex, the divorce process and the sleazy divorce attorney that I hired. 

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FEELING BLUE – design tip

feelingblueColor, just like music, is the universal “visual” language seen around the world.. The color BLUE, has been proven to lower your blood pressure and immediately induces a peaceful state of mind. This is why we enjoy a clear blue sky on a beautiful summer day or the turquoise crashing waves of the ocean. It simply makes us feel more relaxed and less stressed. This is nature’s way of giving us the gift of serenity.

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NOW THAT MY FACE HAS MELTED INTO MY NECK – what’s next

meltedneckI finally decide to go to lunch with some of my friends from my old neighborhood. Some of these lovely ladies I like, but a few of them are only concerned with how I “LOOK” 1 year after my divorce. Recovering slowly from the emotional assault on my self- esteem, I bravely accept the invitation.

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HANGer MANAGEMENT – design tip

hangermgtWhile my divorce was underway and my house was on the market, I had only 2 weeks to leave the place I had lived in for the last 19 years. As if moving OUT wasn’t hideous enough, I realized that moving IN was equally challenging. 

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THEY’RE SISTERS BUT THEY’RE NOT TWINS – a different kind of support

twinsI am currently 56 years old, so let’s flash back to the morning of my 30th birthday some 26 years ago…….

I don’t know about you, but on that landmark birthday, over night, somewhat like the mysterious arrival of chin hair, I noticed that my right breast had taken the opportunity to lower itself substantially towards the southerly direction of the bathroom floor. Like a spiteful sibling, it also had not invited its sister, the left breast, to come along for the journey.

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A TALE OF TWO CITIES – and spiderman

blog_spidermanAfter my divorce, the most painful experience was watching my son say goodbye to the home he grew up in for the past 18 years. Although he was an older child of divorce, it did not make it any easier for him to accept. His quiet, sad face was forever burned in my memory

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